Becoming a Ferebee Eagle!

I've been living in DC for over 2 months now, and I have definitely established a routine! My service at Ferebee-Hope Elementary has made that necessary, because extremely long days call for an extremely early bedtime and wake-up. Having spent 4 years of undergrad seriously sleep deprived, I thought I was ready for an adult sleep schedule. The thing I didn't consider was how exhausted I would be. All the time. Including the commute, my work days are a little over 12 hours long. So by the time I get home, I struggle to stay awake for 2 or 3 hours to watch some TV, and then I pass out. The work of everyday is so incredibly draining; it feels like my most tiring day of undergrad. But it happens every single day, and that wears me out! Fortunately, I get to sleep in on most weekends and I definitely take advantage of that.

The culprits in all of this exhaustion? 25 third graders. The work is intense because it's not just about classroom education. In a community like Southeast DC, everyday is inseparably linked to the lives of students at home and in the neighborhood. These 7 and 8 year olds bring in so many hardships and behavorial issues, I spend the vast majority of my time helping them work through those, just so they can be ready to learn eventually. City Year provided 6 weeks of training on this very topic, but nothing could have prepared me for the challenges that my students face. I am consistently shocked by the anger that 8 year olds can harbor, and it has proved to me how much work lies ahead for my students and for me. Multiple fist fights each day, severe learning challenges that go unaddressed due to a lack of resources, and pervading home issues make third grade so much more difficult for these students than I remember it being for anyone in my experience.

There's no denying that this work is tough; the toughest thing I've ever done. Fortunately, it also means working with 25 of the most fascinating and thoroughly enjoyable (most of the time) little ones I have ever met! Everyday, in the midst of screaming students and behavioral encounters, I find at least one significant moment that makes me smile. Sometimes it is a struggling student finishing an entire page of math, sometimes a troubled student screaming their heart out with joy on the playground. And sometimes it is something entirely off the wall and hilarious. Here's a list of top moments thus far: (City Year prohibits the use of specific identifiers for students, under FERPA. No names can be used)

1. "Ms. Jillian, you not white. You black!" 

During a lunch club session, my students and I were discussing leaders. I brought up Mitt Romney (we recently learned about the upcoming election) and my club unanimously said Romney is not a leader. I already knew that President Obama is immensely popular in their neighborhood, but I asked if Romney is not a leader simply because my students don't like him. One of my students replied that "he's not our kind, so we don't like him." I recognized pervasive racism in this comment and I pressed my student to come up with a legitimate reason why she doesn't think Romney is a leader, to which she replied "You know black people don't like white people!" I was a little horrified by this comment, and seeing this, she quickly followed up with "Not you, Ms. Jillian! You not white, you black." I thanked her for her vote of confidence, and obviously followed up with a conversation about racism. But for the rest of the day, she was quick to remind me that she considers me one of her own people, and one that she likes.

2. It's raining tacos

On a recent field trip to the national mall, I got to see my students in an entirely new context. Many of them rarely leave Southeast, so most of them had never seen the memorials, even though they were all born in DC. They enjoyed the memorials and despite complaints about walking long distances, had a good time on the mall. While we were there, a fleet of army helicopters flew over. I pointed them out to a student, thinking he would find it interesting. He agreed that it was cool, but then said "I hope those drop tacos on us! Oh yeah, I bet they will. Yum!" He then went on a tangent about tacos. Needless to say, his favorite part of the trip was actually lunch at Ben's Chili Bowl.

3. Love, in all its forms

The other day, a student randomly hugged me tightly and told me she loved me. I was a little taken aback by this affection, because in my school it isn't common. I wasn't sure what to say at first, because I am still in an authority building stage with my students, where we have been encouraged to be very firm with them and make it clear that we are not there to be their friends. But then I realized that it might be all too familiar for this student to give love and not receive any in return. And the thing is that I do love my students, even the ones who cause me constant frustration. So I told her I loved her too, and I realized that's the truth. I love these third graders so much, and I want them to know. The sad truth is that there aren't many people in their lives to love them, and I want to be that person for them. It was a gentle reminder to not let their behavior take away from my affection for them. They might yell at each other and at me, they might fight daily, and refuse to do their work, but despite all that, I love each and every one of them.

City Year is great at providing support for all of us in our service, and there a lot of positive culture pieces that build community. One of these was the red jacket dedication ceremony. I got a chance to write for the City Year blog about this event; check it out if you want to read about it: http://cityyeardc.wordpress.com/2012/09/17/the-idealists-journey-begins/

I realize that this entire post has been about work, which is natural because this year of service is consuming. But next time I'll post about life outside Ferebee, and all the amazing things I've been doing in DC during my free time!